What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson Does it seem that no matter where you are or what you are doing, often there is a comparison of some kind happening? From the moment a child is born, their family and society compare them. It continues through life in school, at the job and in relationships. Not only do we compare people, we compare just about everything in our life and world. We compare one sport team to another team, this diet with another diet, and even apples to oranges! Sometimes we get into a conversation, often a debate, with someone about who or what is the best. You may even find yourself having an inner dialogue comparing yourself with someone. Why do we do these comparisons? Our world tends to be dualistic. You are either right or wrong, good or bad. Things seem to appear black or white. Why does something have to be this or that? What if there was something in between that was an even better option? It is okay to look at two things, people, situations and compare them, but that doesn’t make one better than the other one. This isn’t an “either or” decision. It can be but it doesn’t have to be. Comparison can be healthy to help you see differences for what you do and do not what for yourself. It is when comparison becomes obsessive and demoralizing, that it is harmful. Comparison can hold you back. It becomes a big waste of time and energy! This may be where you may have to change some of your beliefs when making comparisons. You will have to be open to more than two possibilities of right or wrong, good or bad for what you are looking at. There is so much more than what we know is possible for us. As you become aware of looking at things differently, you open yourself up to a whole new world! What if you looked at the best of both in your comparison and came up with an even better decision, solution, answer than deciding on either one. What if you choose to view your world from a different perspective? Instead of living in a black and white world, you added some color to your world. You can use comparison to better yourself if done in a helpful way. You can take your gifts and combine them with bits and pieces of what you perceive is great about someone else. As you do this, remember though, you will never, ever be that person. You can only be you showing up as the best possible version of you! Have you thought about comparing where you are in your life compared to where you use to be? Look at where you started and all that you have accomplished. Perhaps there is more you would like to accomplish. That is a comparison that can be healthy for you. You are comparing you to you! A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms. Zen Shin No two flowers are the same, yet each is beautiful and unique in its own way! And so it is with you. There is only one special, one of a kind, you! Rather than compare yourself to others, look for the beautiful gifts that only you possess. Thank you for adding your beautiful colors to the world! Thank you for sharing, liking and commenting below about this blog. Feedback is always welcome. Are you ready to live the life you desire and deserve? Julie Wilson is a Life Coach who is dedicated to help you live a life you love! For more information, click the button below.
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It’s not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean. ~ Tony Robbins Many of you reading this blog have carried a heavy load of what I would call “incorrect beliefs”. These beliefs were formed from what your parents and family believed, what the media told you and what our society determined to be “truth”. But what are your truths, your beliefs? Your brain takes in everything you experience and everything that you are exposed to. Your brain does not know the difference between what is your truth and the truth of someone else. Your brain is full of beliefs and tapes that are playing that most likely are not your beliefs. When the media tells you that you need this product to be beautiful and you believe it, that is what gets programmed into your brain. You have formed a belief about you that most likely is not true. You now have a belief, whether conscious or unconscious, that drives some of your actions. These actions may not always be for your best good! It is believed that by the time children reach the age of between five and eight years old that all their beliefs are deeply embedded within them. Everything they have experienced, been told and believed is recorded in the subconscious. All of that is recorded at the age the child experienced it and has the potential to affect them throughout the rest of their life, even as adults. Can you see as an adult that some of your thoughts and actions are driven by these deeply held beliefs that were formed early in your life? These beliefs were formed through the eyes of a child and may not be the truth of who you really are now in this moment. Of course, you continue to form beliefs throughout your lifetime but these early, possibly incorrect beliefs form a foundation for many of the beliefs you have now and continue to form. Let’s say you have an older brother and you are five years old. Your mom was reading your favorite book with you and had to stop to help your brother with homework. She never came back to finish reading the book to you because your brother needed her help. His homework took a long time to finish. Now it was time to go to bed. Your mother hurriedly puts you to bed because she has so much to do before she can go to bed. From your perspective, you feel she lovingly tucks your brother in for the night. Then from your childlike point of view, you form the belief “I must not be loveable because my mother spends more time with my brother than me. She must love him and not me.” An incorrect belief is formed. As you continue your life with this belief, this tape, of “I must not be loveable. There must be something wrong with me.” Your brain is like a computer with programs running in the background. These background programs can affect all areas of your life. Your relationships, your work, your self-worth, all of that can be affected at any age based on a belief that you formed as a five-year-old. Most of you have a practice of Spring cleaning your home. Have you ever thought about Spring cleaning your brain? There are many beliefs that are holding you back or are no longer true for you. As you tend to the garden of your mind, is it time to clean up your beliefs? And, when you get rid of the old or what is no longer serving you, it makes room for the new to come in. Regardless of your age, there is no better time than now to examine what you believe to be true for you. Are your beliefs that you are not good enough or smart enough stopping you from changing careers? Starting a new hobby? Writing a book? You are good enough and you are smart enough. You can’t fail. You fail only when you don't even try. Take time to look deeply at what you have been told over the course of your life. Are there some beliefs that you have that you know are incorrect? Are you ready to let those go and run a new program in the computer of your brain? Time for an upgrade . . . a new version of you! Thank you for sharing, liking and commenting below about this blog. Feedback is always welcome. Are you ready to live the life you desire and deserve? Julie Wilson is a Life Coach who is dedicated to help you live a life you love! For more information, click the button below.
Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here. ~ Marianne Williamson If I were to ask you if you live your life in love or fear, what would your answer be? In your day-to-day life, what do you base your actions, your decisions on? Love or fear? Everything comes from love or fear, everything! There is a countless number of feelings and emotions under the “umbrella” of love. The “feel good” feelings of joy, peace, optimism, trust, happiness, passion, excitement, etc. all are a form of love. They lift you up. They contribute to you feeling better about yourself and life in general. There are many “not so good” feelings and emotions that fall under the “umbrella” of fear. Anger, sadness, anxiety, disappointment, control, frustration, negativity, etc. are all a form of fear. These are the heavy emotions and feelings. If you stay in the energy of fear, you tend to not feel so good about your life and your world. It is a conscious choice in every moment how you perceive something and how you allow it to make you feel. You can look for the “good” in something and focus on that. Or, you can see only the “bad” in the same thing and focus on that aspect of it. Your choice. What do you choose to allow into your life? Some of you reading this probably are wondering if I am crazy when I asked the last question. In your mind, you don’t “allow” the negative things to happen to you. You may feel they are done “to” you. It is common to play the “blame game” with everything and everyone in your life. We all have done it, including myself when I was younger. I didn’t realize that I was responsible for how I perceived something. Now I realize I am the only one who can experience something and decide the outcome of that experience for myself. I bet you know someone who has had what you would consider a horrifying experience and they were able to find the blessings in that experience. Not always easy to focus on the good in such an experience. When you have something very personal happen in your life, would you rather look at the experience with love or fear? Knowing what you know about the “feel good” feelings of love, wouldn’t you rather live your life with those feelings and emotions? Can you understand that regardless of what has happened, you will feel better when you focus on the good in everything and everyone. You have a choice . . . feel good or feel bad. I know it is hard at times to focus on the positive with what is happening in the world around you. Life happens. There are bills to pay, health issues, job responsibilities and the list goes on. When you are experiencing something that may not be so positive, can you consciously tell yourself that you are going to find the good in what is happening? Or, can you think positive thoughts about the outcome? I can tell you that your life will feel more in the flow and positive when you are able to look for the good in your life. One other factor that may help you be more positive is the implications for your health and overall well-being. When you have negative thoughts and feelings, your physical, mental and emotional bodies are under great stress. You are setting yourself up for illness. This is a proven scientific fact. At first it may seem like a lot of work to focus on the good in your life. For some of you, it may take time for you to make this shift in your thinking and understanding. Even if you can change your feelings about one thing a day from fear to love, you are helping yourself tremendously. Make a commitment to yourself. Look for the good in everyone and everything. Do it for you! Your life, your choice . . . love or fear! Thank you for sharing, liking and commenting below. Feedback is always welcome. Are you ready to live the life you desire and deserve? Julie Wilson is a life coach that is dedicated to help you live a life you love! For more information, click the button below.
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. ~ Lewis B Smedes Have you ever forgiven someone for something they have done? If so, that’s wonderful! Take a minute and look at that incident. Did you forgive the person for you or for them? I have had people tell me they reluctantly have forgiven someone. They did it because they believed it would help that person in some way. Believe it or not, the best reason to forgive anyone is for YOU! Often the person you perceive you need to forgive may not even be thinking about what happened. It’s not affecting them at all but it sure may be affecting you! The more you carry the feeling of unforgiveness, the more it affects and controls you. It can show up as an illness or disease in your physical body. It may come out in the emotions of anger, fear and irritation. Forgiveness on the other hand, can reduce stress levels. This helps the body be in a calmer state and improves your health. It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everyone. ~ Maya Angelo I have met individuals who have carried anger toward someone for something that happened years, decades ago. That anger has become such a part of them and affects their day-to-day life. The longer this goes on, it seems to grow into something even more “ugly” to the point of affecting the person on all levels. Your subconscious mind records everything you experience. Your age at the time determines how this is recorded into your subconscious. Something that someone did to hurt you when you were eight years old, got recorded as you experienced it then. That experience could be affecting you today as a thirty-year-old adult! I know some of you are thinking, "I can't forgive my dad for what happened. It was so real for me and hurt me deeply. It is etched in my heart and brain!" Would it be possible for you to preserve the learnings from that experience and release the trauma? If you could, it may just help you move on in your life from a better feeling place . . . physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually! Do this for you! When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future. ~ Bernard Meltze I know some of you are ready to move on and wondering “How do I do this?” You may have a person or persons in mind that you feel have hurt you. Remember, this could be for something huge like a crime against you or as small as that boy in elementary school that always told you that you were ugly. I can share a process that I have used that I have found to be very powerful. Find a space where you will not be disturbed. From your heart, “be” with that person, have a conversation with that person in your mind or out loud. Whatever you need to do to connect with the person and what happened, do it. I am not asking you to relive the trauma, but more be in a place that you can forgive what happened. Start first with forgiving yourself. You are forgiving yourself for what you have done to hold on to this and what it may have done to you physically and emotionally. Hold your hands over your heart while saying “I deeply and profoundly, love, accept and forgive myself.” Continue doing this, while consciously breathing. Do this for as long as necessary till you feel a shift within you. Next, move on to the person that you want to forgive. As you continue from that place of forgiveness of yourself, forgive them. You can continue to hold your hands over your heart if you like. Imagine an infinity symbol between your heart and the person’s heart flowing love from you to them and back again. Remember, you are doing this for you, not them. When your memory of this has faded or is not as painful, you will know that you have released or changed your feelings about what happened. The picture or memory is still there but it is not triggering or controlling you anymore. You are now in a place of forgiveness. Choose to forgive. Watch how your life changes. Do it for you! Thank you for sharing, liking and commenting below about this blog. Feedback is always welcome. Are you ready to live the life you desire and deserve? Julie Wilson is a Life Coach who is dedicated to help you live a life you love! For more information, click the button below.
There is no instinct like that of the heart. ~ Lord Byron Does it feel like you are experiencing a "speed up" of time? That everything is different or changing in your world? Stop for a minute and look at where you are right now in your life and where you were three to five years ago. Do you see that you, your life, is not at all the same as it used to be? For some of you, the changes that have happened in your life are exciting. For others, the changes may make you feel depressed or fearful or you name the emotion. Change can be scary or it can be exciting. Your choice how you perceive it! Certain beliefs are ingrained in us from the moment we are born. Our family, friends, society, teachers, the media and the environment condition our mind and our beliefs about everything! These beliefs may change and morph into something slightly different but they basically stay the same unless you do something to consciously change those beliefs. Earlier when you looked at where you were three to five years ago, I believe most of you would say that you “thought” about it. As some of you have experienced, you are very good at thinking and rethinking things. When you do this, you spin your wheels and don’t move forward! Have you every stopped to really look at your beliefs? When considering your beliefs, there is one simple, little change you can make. Ask yourself “How do I feel about this?” Rather than thinking and rethinking about something, you “feel” about it. Would you like to feel good about the changes, the choices, you are making in your life? You can do this when you are examining your beliefs, choices before you or any decision you have to make. In an earlier blog, Feel Good Decisions, I wrote about making decisions from a place of love for yourself. Making decisions based on what felt best for you to do. You can now take this one step further and use the “feeling” method to ask yourself if your current beliefs are still true for you. As the world changes and you go through your own changes, some of your beliefs may no longer be true for who you are now. If you are feeling like you are stuck or not moving forward in life, your beliefs may be holding you back. As an example, when you were young, everyone made fun of how you dressed. They teased you and called you ugly. You believed it. That belief became so ingrained within you it affected your self-confidence. Now at age thirty, that lack of self-confidence is affecting your work performance even though you have the most experience of anyone in your department and have won numerous work excellence awards. Regardless of your age, there is no time like the present to examine your beliefs and see if there are some you would like to change. This may seem overwhelming to you. Just take one area of your life and start with those beliefs. Only do what your heart tells you. ~ Princess Diana Some people say the feelings from their heart are God, their soul, their gut or their intuition talking to them. Regardless of what you personally call it, allow yourself to be guided by what you are feeling. Will you be right all the time? Probably not, especially at first because you will doubt yourself. The more you trust your feelings, the inner knowing, the more you will be confident that you can trust your feelings about everything in your life. Wait till you see how that feels! Thank you for sharing, liking and commenting below about this blog. Feedback is always welcome. Are you ready to live the life you desire and deserve? Julie Wilson is a Life Coach who is dedicated to help you live a life you love! For more information, click the button below.
Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson It’s the beginning of another year and some of you are coming up with resolutions or goals for the new year. Resolutions are made for the upcoming year and often by the end of January, they are forgotten or abandoned because “they are so much work to keep doing". This is usually done with great intentions but often makes you feel badly when you don’t complete them. What if this year, you set goals and intentions in a slightly different way? Instead of coming up with a list of goals that you think you “should” work on, what if you came up with a list that comes from your heart and feels good? Instead of thinking and rethinking what to do, get into your heart and see what feels right to do. I know you can come up with goals and resolutions that you would enjoy completing. Some of the most popular New Year’s resolutions have to do with losing weight, being healthy, work or relationships. Often resolutions are made with a specific, detailed result. That is the old way of making resolutions. Want to try the new way of setting goals that is more empowering? What if instead your resolution is to be happy? Or healthy? Or working in your passion? Rather than a specific goal of getting healthy by losing 25 pounds while going on ABC diet and working out 5 days a week, you have a goal or goals that are broader. Your resolutions now allow you more freedom to create happiness or health or your passion, in every moment, whatever that means for you. One day being healthy will mean that you are taking steps to eating better or exercising more. You may realize that you are not getting enough quality sleep and you start going to bed earlier. It is brought to your awareness that emotions affect your physical health. You decide to go within to look at what emotions you are carrying that may be causing your body to be less than healthy. When you set goals that are specific and you aren’t able to be consistent all the time, you get frustrated or upset with yourself. In this new way of setting goals or intentions, you have more “wiggle room”. When you set a goal of ABC and you feel that is what needs to be done, you are limiting yourself. What if something D through Z is more beneficial for you? In the new way, you are allowing for more helpful possibilities to come to you. You may believe you know what is best for you but sometimes you don’t always know what is best! Allow space for the unexpected, beneficial event or person to come into your life. Make a commitment to yourself that this year you are going to be more open, less rigid and controlling, to allow unknown and unplanned gifts to come to you. The first of the year always brings hopes and wishes of new beginnings or beneficial changes in your life. This year, imagine each day to be the beginning of something new and wonderful in your life. Stay in the moment and be aware of all that is unfolding in that moment. It’s a new year and every day is a new day . . . what will your intentions be for each new day? Wishing you a year filled with days that are better than you can imagine! Happy, exciting, 365 new days this year! Thank you for sharing, liking and commenting below about this blog. Feedback is always welcome. Are you ready to live the life you desire and deserve? Julie Wilson is a Life Coach who is dedicated to help you be the best version of YOU! For more information, click the button below.
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. ~ Maya Angelou You go about your day doing what you do but are you surviving or thriving? How would you answer that question if I asked you right now? First you have to understand the difference between surviving and thriving. Surviving you are existing in spite of danger or hardship, and thriving you are prospering and flourishing. Big difference! Regardless of your current situation or circumstances, I am sure most of you reading this would love to say that you ARE thriving right now in your life. Some of you are thriving . . . while many of you may not be. If you feel “stuck in a rut” or depressed or even bored, you are not thriving. You can continue to survive or you can make a conscious choice to thrive. It’s up to you – your choice. If you decide you want to thrive, what does that mean for you and how do you do that? There are many facets to live a life where you are thriving. It can be overwhelming to make all or many of the necessary changes. Pick one piece of what thriving means to you and work on that. Once you take steps, even baby steps, toward making changes in that area, it will help you make changes in other areas of your “surviving” life to a “thriving” life. When you do not have a lot of resources in your life . . . family, friends, money, material things to live, etc, it becomes difficult to find ways to start thriving. That is understandable. Regardless of what you have or don’t have, it is your perception and attitude that contributes to the quality of your life. It’s what you make of what you have that allows you to thrive. Something that can help tremendously and will cost you nothing other than your time, is to look at your beliefs and attitudes about yourself and your life. What you think, you become! If you believe all those things you were told years ago about not being capable or good enough, that is what you will be. You may want to click on this link to read an earlier blog that tells how what you think and speak about yourself affects the life you are living. After you have made changes to your beliefs about yourself, look at what you believe about your life. No matter what is going on in your life, you have choices! You can choose to stay right where you are and that is fine. Or, you can choose right now in this moment that your life is going to take another path. You are the master of your life, not someone else. Anything is possible and miracles happen! I know you are saying that Julie doesn’t understand what I am going through and what is happening in my life. You are correct!!! I don’t know. What I do know is that you know YOU better than anyone else on this planet. If you choose, you have the strength and the wisdom within you to accomplish just about anything. I believe that anything is possible and miracles happen! Is there something about your life where you feel like you are stuck? Is it your job, relationship, health, finances? Pick one area and find one thing you can do to help you start the process of getting “unstuck”. For example, let’s look at the job you feel stuck in. Realistically you feel you can’t just quit because you have bills to pay and responsibilities. Okay, that’s fair. Is there something about your job that you love or at least like a lot? Can you focus on that part of your job and look forward to it each day? Or, is there a project at work that interest you that you could ask to help with it? Maybe you can look outside your current job and find something to do part-time that would make you happy. Have you ever had an idea of doing something on your own and possibly it could develop into your own business? Is there a hobby that intrigues you that may someday turn into more than a hobby? Any change you make in any area of your life is going to spill over and affect all areas of your life. Everything is interrelated. Whether you take a small or big step towards getting “unstuck," watch how everything in your life begins to change and flow. I'm celebrating you taking that first step to being in the flow of a thriving life! You can do it! Thank you for sharing, liking and commenting below about this blog. Feedback is always welcome. Are you ready to live the life you desire and deserve? Julie Wilson is a Life Coach who is dedicated to help you be the best version of YOU! For more information, click the button below.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. ~ Oscar Wilde Why is it that you can love others but it is not always so easy to love yourself? Loving others comes very easily and naturally to many of you. Even those of you who have not experienced much love in your life, you can still find a way to show love and be loving with other people. I was never taught about self-love. Were you? I believe our society use to have the mindset that if you thought about yourself first, you were either selfish or narcissist. It is now known that it is important to take care of yourself, first, so that you can be in a better place to help others. In the world we live in, if we each took time to love ourselves, can you imagine what the world would be like? It is important to fill yourself up to overflowing and then allow that overflow to go out to others. When you love yourself, you form the foundation for all the other relationships in your life as mentioned in my last blog, Your #1 Relationship . . . YOU. Let’s look at some practical ways to help you take that first step on the road of self-love. You can choose to do one of these self-love practices or several at one time. There is no right or wrong way to do this. Just start doing something to love yourself and anchor that love within you. Accept yourself . . . warts and allYes, you have read this before in an earlier blog but it is important to repeat here. Until you can accept you, all of you, it will be difficult to completely love you. Stop comparing yourself to others. You can never be someone else or even be completely like anyone else! You are unique and special in your own way and that is beautiful. Celebrate who you are! Stop beating yourself upHave you ever stopped to listen to what you tell yourself on a daily or even hourly basis? We are usually our worst critic. Stop saying negative things, out loud or in your mind, about yourself. Your body and mind are constantly listening to what you are saying. Soon all those negative things you have said about yourself will be programmed into you. Become more aware of what you are thinking and saying about yourself. Would you say these same things to someone you love? Stop yourself every time you realize what you are saying is negative and turn it into something positive. “I am so fat” becomes “I am taking walks and eating better so I know I will lose weight and be healthier.” Schedule time to do what brings you joyI have worked with people who felt silly scheduling time for themselves and for most, it was the hardest thing for them to do. Everyone seems to be so busy with life. For this reason, I suggest they block out a time in their schedule to do something they enjoy. Love to take walks, schedule 30 minutes at least 2-3 times a week to take a walk. Love to have coffee with a friend, set aside time in your schedule to meet your friend for coffee. Give yourself permission to take time for what makes you happy. Even if you only feel you can schedule time for you once a week, start there. As you see the benefits of taking time for you, you will find even more ways to schedule time for you. Take time for self-carePart of loving yourself is taking good care of you, all of you! Start by treating yourself as the precious spirit that you are. No matter what your resources are, you can find a way to nurture yourself. Consider healthy nutrition, getting enough sleep, exercise and time with family and friends. All of this may seem like a lot to do but it can be incorporated into your daily routine. Look at your spiritualityRegardless of a religion or system you believe in, your spirituality comes from a different perspective. It comes from within you. It is your beliefs, feelings, emotions, those “inner knowings” that are your truths. It is looking at what is true for you . . . the truth within you. Take time to sit and just be with yourself as you examine your truths. Allow this part of you to “speak” to you and guide you in the journey of self-love. For some of you, it is time to listen to the wise part of you that knows you better than anyone else! We all desire to love and be loved. Why not start with yourself? You will find that as you take time to be loving with yourself, that love flows out to everyone around you. When you love yourself, it is a gift you give not only to yourself, but to everyone around you. Thank you for that gift! Thank you for sharing, liking and commenting below about this blog. Feedback is always welcome. Are you ready to live the life you desire and deserve? Julie Wilson is a Life Coach who is dedicated to help you be the best version of YOU! For more information, click the button below.
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Phone: (970) 222-9775 julie@aboutlifewellness.com https://www.innerwisdomlifecoach.com |
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