Forgive: Do It for You!

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
~ Lewis B Smedes

Have you ever forgiven someone for something they have done?  If so, that’s wonderful!  Take a minute and look at that incident.   Did you forgive the person for you or for them? 

I have had people tell me they reluctantly have forgiven someone. They did it because they believed it would help that person in some way.  Believe it or not, the best reason to forgive anyone is for YOU!  Often the person you perceive you need to forgive may not even be thinking about what happened.  It’s not affecting them at all but it sure may be affecting you!
​
The more you carry the feeling of unforgiveness, the more it affects and controls you.  It can show up as an illness or disease in your physical body.  It may come out in the emotions of anger, fear and irritation.  Forgiveness on the other hand, can reduce stress levels.  This helps the body be in a calmer state and improves your health.

It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. 
​Forgive everyone.  ~ Maya Angelo

I have met individuals who have carried anger toward someone for something that happened years, decades ago.  That anger has become such a part of them and affects their day-to-day life.  The longer this goes on, it seems to grow into something even more “ugly” to the point of affecting the person on all levels.
​
Your subconscious mind records everything you experience.  Your age at the time determines how this is recorded into your subconscious.  Something that someone did to hurt you when you were eight years old, got recorded as you experienced it then.

That experience could be affecting you today as a thirty-year-old adult!  I know some of you are thinking, "I can't forgive my dad for what happened.  It was so real for me and hurt me deeply.  It is etched in my heart and brain!"

Would it be possible for you to preserve the learnings from that experience and release the trauma?  If you could, it may just help you move on in your life from a better feeling place . . . physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually!  Do this for you!

When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future. ~ Bernard Meltze

I know some of you are ready to move on and wondering “How do I do this?”  You may have a person or persons in mind that you feel have hurt you.  Remember, this could be for something huge like a crime against you or as small as that boy in elementary school that always told you that you were ugly.
 
I can share a process that I have used that I have found to be very powerful.  Find a space where you will not be disturbed.  From your heart, “be” with that person, have a conversation with that person in your mind or out loud.  Whatever you need to do to connect with the person and what happened, do it.  I am not asking you to relive the trauma, but more be in a place that you can forgive what happened.

Start first with forgiving yourself.  You are forgiving yourself for what you have done to hold on to this and what it may have done to you physically and emotionally.  Hold your hands over your heart while saying “I deeply and profoundly, love, accept and forgive myself.” Continue doing this, while consciously breathing.  Do this for as long as necessary till you feel a shift within you.  

Next, move on to the person that you want to forgive.  As you continue from that place of forgiveness of yourself, forgive them.  You can continue to hold your hands over your heart if you like.  Imagine an infinity symbol between your heart and the person’s heart flowing love from you to them and back again.  Remember, you are doing this for you, not them. ​

When your memory of this has faded or is not as painful, you will know that you have released or changed your feelings about what happened.  The picture or memory is still there but it is not triggering or controlling you anymore.  You are now in a place of forgiveness.

Choose to forgive.  Watch how your life changes.  Do it for you!​

---

Thank you for sharing, liking and commenting below about this blog.  Feedback is always welcome.

---

​Are you ready to live the life you desire and deserve?  Julie Wilson is a Life Coach who is dedicated to help you live a life you love!  For more information, click the button below.  

Services