Relationships: What Do You Choose?

Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make,  makes you. Choose wisely.  ~ Roy T. Bennett

​When the word relationship is mentioned in a conversation, you probably think about the relationship you have with a partner, spouse, child, family member or friend.  Have you ever stopped to think about your relationship with money, your work, the environment and just about everything in your world?  You are in relationship with everyone and everything around you.
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How you think and feel about something or someone, affects that relationship.  Whether you realize it or not, you are “broadcasting” how you feel about something by the way you talk about it or even think about it.  Your body language, your energy frequency, about a particular subject or person is sent out from you. You don’t even have to speak a word and people around you can sense how you think or feel about them or what is being discussed.     

I am sure some of you reading this have witnessed someone who walked into a room and you could feel their presence fill the room.  They didn’t say a word or do anything except walk into the room.  And, yet, everyone in the room could tell that something was different and the energy or the feeling in the room had changed.  This feeling in the room may or may not have been “good” but yet it was felt because everything is energy and you are energy.  You felt the change in energy when that person walked into the room.   

Have you ever noticed that when you are irritated with someone and you speak with them, often they get irritated with you?  They pick up on what you are feeling and you are affecting them.  It’s a vicious cycle that goes nowhere and does not serve you or the other person. 

You can participate in the “blame game” and say it is not about you and the other person’s “fault”.  Many times in relationships, the other person is reflecting back to you something about you.  You can’t change the other person but you can change you.  Knowing this, is there something you can change about you that would help the relationship be more in ease and enjoyable?

I have been blessed to have worked with many wonderful people over the course of my life.  I am grateful that I can get along with just about every person I come in contact with.  However, there was one person who was difficult for me to work with who happened to also be my boss. 

My relationship with my boss was affecting how I felt about my position, my career.  I didn’t want to leave my job because I loved what I was doing.  I knew I had to find a way to be in this work relationship that would be beneficial for me. 

I realized I had to focus on the good in the relationship with my boss and not let the “bad” affect how I felt.  I did not want all that bad to come back to me.  I made a list of the good qualities of my boss and focused on those aspects.  I made a conscious effort to not allow what I didn’t like about her to affect me. 
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After about a month, I noticed that she was friendlier and kinder to me.  Once I changed my attitude, my boss changed.  I still did not agree with many things about her but I was able to stay in the job I loved and soon she was moved to another position.  I am glad I was able to change my feelings rather than be irritated and angry in that relationship.

This week, pay attention when you feel yourself getting irritated about something or with someone.  Step back and ask yourself why are you irritated.  Can you change how you look at the situation and get into a better feeling place?  Try this and see how your relationships improve because you are willing to make changes with how you feel about the people and events in your life.  Often a small shift in your feelings can make a big difference!
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It is your choice.  You can choose to be irritated with a person, your job, where you live, your money or whatever it is and be miserable.  Or, you can choose to find something good to focus on in the relationship and feel better within yourself.  We all have a choice . . . what do you choose in your relationships?​

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