You cannot change anyone, but you can be the reason someone changes.
~ Roy T. Bennett
Do you know someone who has said something like “when she quits drinking” or “when he gets married”, he or she will be a better person? They assume they really know the person and what is right for them, what will make them a “better” person. We can never really know what is best for another person or totally understand what is going on in their life.
Every day you interact with other people - your family, friends, strangers or work colleagues. Most people have a lot going on in their lives and it is not always easy for you to figure out what is happening with them. In these interactions, you may feel as though you know what is most beneficial for them.
We all do it . . . we offer help or advice believing we know what is best for the person. You may do this thinking you are helping them. No one knows what’s best for another person. Only that person knows what is best for them.
What if instead of trying to understand or change someone else, you looked at what is going on with you and your life? You haven’t walked in someone else’s shoes so you don’t have all the facts and emotions of what their life has been like. You do know, however, firsthand what your life has been like!
When you work on you and make changes within you, you affect everyone around you! Create positive change for yourself and you help others see the possibility for change within themselves. As you understand yourself more fully, it may help the people in your life understand more about themselves.
Have you ever been in a discussion with someone and neither one of you can agree on anything being said? The conversation seems to escalate to a point where both of you are speaking with a loud voice in a tone that adds ‘fuel to the fire”. The discussion soon becomes a yelling match.
What if, instead, you “stepped back” from the discussion, took a deep breath and then spoke in a more loving, calm voice? It is possible to change your vibration and frequency toward this person and greatly affect the tone of the discussion. You may still not agree with the other person but you will feel a lot better about talking with them from that place of peace and love.
Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.
~ Wayne W. Dyer
I have experienced for myself that when I am irritated and agitated with someone and we are talking, that person seems to get irritated and agitated with me. It’s like a vicious cycle! They are matching the vibration and frequency of what I am giving out.
Once I realize this and change what I am projecting out from me, the tone of the discussion changes. When I consciously change my thoughts and feelings about the person and come from a more loving perspective, it never fails me. That person changes their attitude toward me!
I’ve had many people in relationships tell me they wish their partner would change this or that about themselves. My response is “one of the best ways to change another person is to makes changes with yourself.” You can’t change another person but you can change YOU!
You can’t change others. You can only change yourself but that will change how others respond to you. ~ Springwolf
You have the power to change yourself, your life, which in turn changes your world including the people in it! Make the changes to be the person you wish to be or to live the live you desire. Open the door, walk through it and lead the way for others to change.
You can do it! Be the reason for change!
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